Okay so... you know how we’re out here running entire businesses like we're some kind of one-woman army?
Yeah, no. That era is done. You need a team .. and not the kind that drains your bank account or asks for sick leave. Let me put you onto something: virtual staff. Real-deal AI assistants, trained to do one job and do it really freaking well. Like, there's one just for Instagram captions (Hi Otis 👋), one for writing blogs in your exact voice, one who organises your marketing calendar like a Type A unicorn… they're all hanging out in what I call the Virtual Boardroom, and it's honestly genius.
You just hire the one you need (they're a one-time payment, not some wild monthly subscription), pop them into your ChatGPT, and boom — instant support that never rolls its eyes at your typos.
I have zero tech skills and I still feel like an actual CEO now. Like, imagine not having to write another caption from scratch or plan a whole launch by yourself? Dreamy.
Anyway, check them out below and pick your first (or next) imaginary hire.
Seriously — you deserve support that works as hard as you do.
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Meet Bennet, He’ll ask the right questions to unpack your voice, values, vibe, and the exact pain points your dream clients are navigating. Then he’ll distill it into a reusable Brand Command that ChatGPT can pull from again and again—so everything you generate sounds so you
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Meet Percy, He calculates accurate hourly rates, for you! He will help you to work out exactly what others are charging nearby, what you need to charge to hit your own profit goals and show you any variations you need to check. He is yours for life, so you can recalculate on the regular.
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Meet Sylvie. Sylvie builds your custom content map in minutes. She’ll ask where you want to show up (Instagram? Pinterest? LinkedIn?) and whip up a full week of tailored content ideas. Then, you can tag in your other GPTs (like Otis or Henley) to flesh out the detail.
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Meet Otis, He is your go-to for scroll-stopping captions. He’s trained on the latest Instagram algorithm shifts and knows how to hook, hold, and convert with your voice intact. Ask him for one caption or five variations—he’ll give you a full menu. Smart, punchy, and on-brand, always.
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Meet Sullivan (secretly one of my faves) He writes copy that gets the “where do I sign?” reaction. Whether it’s a sales page, a caption, or a client pitch—he’s trained to reflect your ideal client’s own thoughts back to them (and position you as the only logical solution). He blends strong CTAs with magnetic storytelling, so your copy doesn’t just sell—it converts.
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Meet Eden, She finds the leaks and fixes them fast. She’ll audit your current workflows, flag where you’re bleeding time or energy, and build smart SOPs that scale with you. Eden’s not just about being efficient—she’s about making sure every part of your business is running smoothly
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Meet Mary, She helps you build an irresistible offer suite.
She’ll guide you through refining, reworking, or totally revamping your services—ensuring every deliverable has a purpose, your pricing is backed by strategy, and nothing is bloated or confusing. She's here to help you charge well, deliver brilliantly, and feel proud of every package.
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Meet Clancy, he is your inbox hero.
From project updates to awkward follow-ups and even emails to your kid’s teacher—Clancy handles them all, fast. Just give him a tone check, and he’ll write clean, clear responses that save your brainpower for more important things.
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Meet Henley, Henley is the ghostwriter behind your inbox magic. Whether you’re just starting your email list or ready to be consistent again, Henley crafts weekly nurture emails that sound like you and feel like a value-packed conversation.
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Meet Marius, Marius makes sure your Pinterest pins work. He’ll write keyword-rich, SEO-OPTIMISED Pinterest captions that boost reach and visibility. She knows how to play the algorithm, how to spark repins, and how to turn quiet accounts into green-number-growth machines. Includes a FREE Pinterest webinar
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Posey is your sassy productivity consultant GPT—built for designers and creatives who are ready to step into true CEO-mode. She’ll audit your week, streamline your role, and show you exactly where you’re leaking time, energy, and efficiency // a full business reset or just help cleaning up your calendar, Posey will walk you through it step-by-step
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Umiko helps you articulate what makes you different.Through gentle, clear questioning, she draws out the magic that sets you apart. By the end, you’ll have a unique value proposition that resonates hard with the clients you actually want to work with.
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Meet Eadie, a strategic copywriter built to help interior designers (like you) turn blog posts into conversions your voice, your vibe x blend it with SEO, smart storytelling, and calls-to-action that convert. blog content that actually sounds like you. building trust with new clients, showing off your portfolio, or educating readers Eadie does it all.
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FREE Rufus is a focused GPT designed to help small business owners turn their big-picture vision into a clear, actionable 12-week plan using the Oleander Goal Planning System. breaking goals into weekly tasks, and structuring everything inside your Notion planner.
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